'Ahhhh fuck.' - Me
So urm, yeah. I've managed to miss two wednesdays, which was the day I'd decided I'd add another post to this little shebang each week (would you say it like that? Shebang? Or shubang? Or, oh whatever, that's not important right now...). It would be at this point that you'd expect me to construct an elaborate excuse involving a dog, a couple of lemons, and a resurrected Rasputin. But there is no 'you' to expect that, you're all a figment of my no longer drug-addled imagination, tempting me with arson and sin. Get out of here, get out. Lalala, lalala.
What I will use an excuse would be the fact that from the moment I got back from my holiday (which was incredibly hot, resulting in me in a permanent state of ‘someone’s poured a bucket over me’), I was blasted with several ‘what the hell?!’ moments. If you recall the phrase ‘you miss a little, you miss a lot’ (I think that’s a quote…maybe), that phrase applies as welcomingly to my life as botox would to Anne Robinson. As such, I spent most of my first week back terribly confused, wondering why this all had had to happen while I was away.
The second week, the one we’re about to leave so graciously, hailed my return to education. Yeah, 6th form, whoo! It’s all going to be fun from now on, yeaaaah!! Um…no. It’s a bloody shock to the system when you’ve had several months of the most strenuous thinking being ‘which novelty shirt shall I wear today?’. I’m exaggerating of course, that’s what I do. It’s my bread and butter. The STD to my cheap prostitute. Hyperbole runs in my blood, along with all those metaphors.
As bad as these excuses are, these are the ones I have. Take them or leave them you mob. I guess that this’ll be my ‘again, sorry’ post. They’re becoming a habit, almost as regular as the actual posts. Please forgive me, I’ll be good from now on?
I’ll be putting up something a little more like a usual blog post after this one; try and control yourselves until I do. Don’t go crazy now. You’re better than that.
Yeah, right.
