Resolutions...Such a Good Idea. So Very Forgetful.

I like New Year’s Resolutions. They’re a nice way to try and change your life in some small way (life meaning three weeks until you forget about it, then vehemently deny any resolution-ing taking place in order to save yourself the embarrassment of your horrific failure).

While I like the idea, I can’t help but feel that, at least during full time education, the period of the year that you make them in feels a bit awkward. I mean, it might be the end of the year proper, but you’re only just a third of the way through the school year, and I’ve already set in stone what sort of person I’m expected to be this year.

The admittedly awful reasoning above is why I make my New Year’s Resolutions at the end of the summer holidays, when you’ve been away for ages, you haven’t seen many people, and they can only expect some sort of change to have happened during that time. I mean, if you’re going to transform into some hideous parody of what you once were, it’s best to do it when people can’t see it. New school year, new start is the basic premise. Here are my ‘summer resolutions’:

1. Don’t be an asshat. Clarified, any general dickishness towards other people or being a twat. I know this will be unbearably difficult for me, so I’ll have to put up with at least lowering the tone of asshattery from what it once was. Now, people who know me know that I rarely ever mean what I say to them, it’s just friendly banter, and some good practice in case some cutting remarks are needed in the real world.

Unfortunately, sometimes people don’t take the banter as intended. No, they decide to take it as a personal attack on them, as if I had gone out of my way to intentional harm their emotional wellbeing, instead of making a friendly jibe. They decide to get offended. I don’t see why they get so angry at being offended, it’s not like anything’s going to happen. I get offended all the time; comedians who aren’t funny, delusional pop stars, fangirls. Luckily I have brain cells, and move on with my life, no use dwelling on things you can’t change. If only everyone could be so lucky.

You’ll notice that I may have just insulted you. If you’re going to be offended, could you do it somewhere private please. Much appreciated.

Oh my, I seem to have gone off on a tangent. Back to the topic!

2. Time management skills. I have none. Things that you have to do are automatically less fun than things you choose to do, by virtue of the lack of choice. Sure, anything can be made fun with the right mindset, but why waste your precious time trying to make something fun, when there’s already something naturally fun for you to do?

This does lead to some problems when something needs to be done by a certain time. Sure, I procrastinate immensely, but it gets finished. Eventually. It’s just a good thing I can work well under time pressure. The irony is I have an art project to finish for Tuesday, and I’m writing this blog post. The things I do for you.

So there you go. My two Summer Resolutions. For everyone who knows me, and enjoys the twat with poor time management skills I have become, have no fear. Don’t worry, I assure you, they will be forgotten in a week. Two max.

The horde, they clamour!

I’m really supposed to be doing my art coursework, but the blog needed something new, so I thought I’d attempt to do some drawing. These are some pathetic attempts on Paint without using a tablet.

This is Bustin’ Beaver. He’s a cool new pop star. I mean, you haven’t seen anything like this guy before. He’s so totally original, look at the way he’s wearing his cap. This guy is breaking boundaries.

So that’s Bustin’ Beaver. Even though, he’s like totally young, he’s still really popular. And he’s the best singer in the world, his oversized buck teeth giving him that pre-pubescent hint in his voice. He will always be cool, thanks to his legions of fans.

There would be another picture, but I like to keep my wrists in working condition (who knows, Bustin’ Beaver may make a re-appearance at some point). Unless you have been keeping away from music for a while, or just don’t care, you’ll probably guess that I’m making fun of the Canadian halfwit known as Justin Bieber.

Now, enough people have mocked him for being him. I mean, sure he’s a bit of an ass, has become quite arrogant, and has enough femininity to rival the collective homosexuality of the Scissor Sisters, but it’s just too easy.

No, I’m going after the zombie masses; Bieber’s fans. I’m extending this to any obsessed groupings of fangirls/fanboys. Seriously, what is wrong with you people? I can understand being into something, my shelves are plagued with plastic/metal models, all in various stages of completion. Some people might tell me I’m a little bit addicted to Facebook. I know far too many film quotes than is healthy.

I’m all for people being into something, but when it becomes your life it’s gone too far. There are so many experiences in life that latching yourself onto one and ignoring all others just seems like self-flagellation to me.

If you couldn’t go without something for a week, then you have a problem. I mean, I could go without the internet for a week. It’d be hard, and I’d miss people I can only speak to on there, but I’d cope. It makes me weep for the future of the human race when I hear the banshees clamouring for their ‘hawt’ superstar. They’re missing out on so much, purely because this over-hyped commercial ‘singer’ has affected them to such a degree.

It isn’t just music stars personalities. While this is a very obvious target, and it seems like I’m picking on teenage girls, the same rabid madness can be seen in the followers of the Twilight series (yes, fangirl, they may call it a Saga, but it doesn’t deserve that title at all). The amount of stories I have seen about rabid Twihards attacking sane logical people amazes me.

I mean, I could understand if the author could actually write, but come on. It seems mediocrity is the thing to be obsessed about these days, while true talent lies by the wayside...

I could rant about either of these things for a lot longer, and probably will do in the future, but I feel I’m becoming intensely boring, and don’t want to drive you away. I mean, you mean a lot to me. Don’t leave!