Monday, 8 August 2011

New Beginnings, Superficial Regenerations.

' He hadn't been to the house in a long while, and yet for all that time it appeared to him as exact as it had been. Time may have passed, but clearly it had left the place untouched. The door was unlocked, slightly ajar in the manner of someone entering without wanting to be heard. Had someone been here? He doubted. Much more likely he had left the door like that himself, an everpresent reminder that he should be there.
As he ventured in, his eyes bulged and widened, the world seeming to freeze all about him. Hairs stood to dogged attention, awaiting the call of fight or flight. He began to mutter in loose breath, never quite forming the words he wanted to scream out. He beheld in the corridor a husk, a broken body. RIbs showed clearly through pallid skin, accusing him of neglect. Atrophied limbs lay sprayed across each other as the once cared for body had fallen to a heap. And then, in a moment of hideous self-loathing and-

He really should've taken care of them better. You can only go on with the excuse 'just going out for a pint of milk' for so long before they realise you've left them to rot. I mean, I've been there. No, no I shouldn't be telling you this. No more.

My blog is a husk. If I'm honest it's not even that. A husk implies it was something to begin with, wholesome and full. You look back at the straggly mess that was my attempt at blogging beforehand and you realised the depth of tragedy. That being said, I enjoyed my foetal blog, and during that time I was posting I had hoped it would mature into something greater. Alas, things happened, and I forgot. I forgot to give it sweet sweet sustenance, a mixture of social awkwardness, wilful egoism and overrated opinion.

I won't lie and tell you I've had an epiphany. Epiphanies are for people who need a good slap to the cheek or punch to the nose. I like neither, so I've taken it upon myself to tell me to do better. Because I can, and because this blog as it was was simply a reminder of my inadequacy of perseverance. I can't handle that weight on my shoulders, that skeleton in my closet. I've got enough taking up space in there as it is, broken femurs and collaped skulls. Those children were asking for it...

To get to the point, eventually...the blog has been reborn. I've tinkered and played with, changed shit up and polished it to a treat. It's going to be proper damnit, whether you or I like it or not. I've come to the decision that come hell or high water, I will be posting a new entry once a week, maybe twice if I'm feeling generous with my teats of opinion. No, just once, you're sucking them dry already. Please let go, you're biting.

I've been thinking of returning to this sanctuary for my burgeoning insanity for a while now, wondering what I'd say and how to say it, whether people will bother looking at it or watch some videos of cats performing awwwww-inducing feline antics. I prefer cats, but you should prefer me. Go on, stroke. I don't bite. As everything always ever does, the thought hovered in the stratosphere of my worries, along with a thousand other possible things I could be doing. Seriously, you couldn't walk in there without having blunt force trauma handed to you via whimsy-mallet.

It was a friend, as it always is, who kick-started the whole thing. A return to their own blog set off warning lights in my head. 'People know you've made a blog! They'll look at your failure and judge! Judge!'. I don't want judges waving their fingers at me accusingly about my aborted blog-child. I want to nurture it, love it, to have it live my dreams. And so it's come to this, a return, a regeneration, a time of new beginnings and grand sweeping statements. Let's have some fun.

I'll be back, I promise.

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